Villainous

As I've mentioned before, I love scary movies. And I surely do love me a kooky villain. Here are my top 13 favorite villains of horror cinema. 

Yes, that's right. I said it. 

CINEMA. 

13. Willard Styles (Willard)

Willard! There are rats in the basement!

This one is actually pretty simple.

A. Crispin Glover

B. RATS! RATS! CUTE CUTE RATS! 

12. Carrie White (Carrie)

It was bad, Mama. They laughed at me. 

Truly, the real villain of this movie is Carrie's mother, what with her dirty pillows and locking Carrie in the sin closet and all, but how incredible is blood-drenched Carrie setting everything on fire at the prom? Who hasn't wanted to do that? Or maybe I'm alone here? Anybody?

11. Isaac (Children of the Corn)

Isaac started the whole thing. He's a boy preacher who came to this town three years ago.

Seriously, just look at this creep.

I want that hat too. Isaac had some totally sweet dark Amish style going on. You go, girl.

10. 9. Mommy & Daddy (The People Under the Stairs)

May they burn in hell.

Forever and ever in hell. 

Xenophobic, racist, incestuous, homicidal, religious zealot slum-lord sister and brother hoard mutilated male children in basement while keeping "daughter" shielded from sin by keeping her locked away at home. Also, gold coins and a leather full-body BDSM suit. Sure, why not? This is just like a V. C. Andrews story!

By the way, Hi Big Ed and Ol' Nadine One Eye!

8. Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)

Do you like Huey Lewis and The News? 

Christian Bale plays himself as my favorite paranoid schizophrenic sociopathic yuppie. The best part is when he tries to feed that cat to the ATM. Right, you guys?! Also, how about Christian Bale's abs? As it happens, I do like Huey Lewis and The News. Excuse me, I have to return some videotapes. 

7. May Dove Canady (May)

You don't think I'm weird?

Okay, so May is really just a lonely girl with a lazy eye and no social skills, not exactly an evil villain. All she wants in the world is a real friend. But she probably shouldn't have killed and dismembered all of those people anyway. I mean, probably not. In addition, this whole movie is delightfully uncomfortable. I was cringing the entire way through.

6. Jackson Rippner (Red Eye)

Wait a minute. You're not stalking me, are you? 

Technically, this movie is a thriller and also not really that good of a movie but whatever. Cillian Murphy's Jackson Rippner, Jackson Rippner right?!, is almost as intense as the movie's soundtrack. Plus, he looks pretty cute in a scarf. Oh, also plus, he has a lot of adorable freckles.

5. Miss Eva Ernst (The Witches) 

You may remove your wigs! 

Okay, so what, this is a movie for kids but there is still some scary stuff here! The scene where the witches take off their masks and they have the noses and the claws?! Yeesh. And thinking the little boy is going to be a mouse forever. Tough stuff dudes. This was all very heavy when I was little. Anyway, how perfect is Anjelica The Grand High Witch's bob haircut? And her accent? Fabulous dahlinks. 

4. Pinhead (Hellraiser)

We have such sights to show you.

Is it weird that I kind of think Pinhead is sort of a nice guy? He's just trying to do his job here everybody. Oh hey, you solved that puzzle box. Check out this neat stuff guys. Pain and Pleasure. We will tear your soul apart. You know. Junk like that. 

3. Ginger Fitzgerald (Ginger Snaps)

A girl can only be a slut, a bitch, a tease, or the virgin next door. 

Ginger Fitzgerald is becoming a woman. She gets her period, starts doing drugs, having sex, and eating people. The usual story. All jokes aside, it's actually a pretty good depiction of what it feels like being a teenage girl sometimes. 

2. Paul (Funny Games)

Whether by knife or whether by gun, losing your life can sometimes be fun.

Michael Pitt as Paul or Jerry or Butthead manages to be completely likeable and absolutely terrifying all at the same time. He is disgusting and charming and he really creeps me out. The original Austrian Funny Games, from the same director, is just as good, maybe better, but alas, no Michael Pitt. Seriously, look at those eyes.

1. Nancy Downs (The Craft)

We are the weirdos, mister. 

I have seen this movie roughly 5,000 times. Nancy is the absolute worst! She is mean, nasty, power-crazed, vengeful, jealous, murderous and also quite stylish. The only bad thing about The Craft is that it isn't about Nancy. Nancy Downs is my power animal. I love you, Nancy. Never change.

-W