Dressing For Yourself

We are told so many things about how to dress and what to wear. Dressing for our body shape, our age, our gender, the occasion... but rarely, amongst all of these "helpful" hints and rules, are we ever actually encouraged to just wear what we truly want to. Especially for women, the guidelines, expectations, and judgements are endless. 


Women are told again and again that we should always try to be appealing in both dressing and actions, whether implicitly or explicitly stated. We are taught to always please others, especially with the way we look, to always consider what others would expect or like from us. We should not be upsetting, or challenging, or heaven forbid, unattractive. In high school, during a phase when I wore only the ugliest polyester clothes I could find at the local thrift store, a boy I barely knew told me I would be more attractive if I dressed differently, more "normal". I am surprised that my cripplingly self-conscious and insecure teenage incarnation was confident enough to reply that I wasn't dressing to attract anyone, especially not any boys like him.  





You should look nice. You need to be sexy but not too sexy, not a slut, not trashy. Don't look like you're trying to get attention. But of course, if you are showing any part of your body, then you should just expect a lot of attention, mostly negative. Show your body, don't show it, hide your flaws, look flawless, stay approachable, seem friendly, look confident, not too confident, be modest, don't seem like a bitch, stand out, blend in, fit in, don't look boring, don't look strange.  And, whatever you do, by any means, don't look like you're trying too hard. But really, all of the rules are completely and absolutely arbitrary. Fashion is constantly changing. Patterns and colors come and go. Silhouettes and popular fits shift drastically from season to season. Any sartorial rule is an opinion not a fact, maybe a widely held belief but never true for everyone. Taste is entirely subjective.





This is what I think - wear what you love. Look the way you like. Wear what makes you happy. Wear what makes you feel beautiful. Wear what makes you feel powerful. Wear what you think is sexy. Wear what you think is interesting or exciting. Wear what feels right, what feels good. 




With your clothes, the way you wear your hair, your accessories, your makeup, you have so much control over your appearance. Even small details can have a huge visual effect. You can look any way you imagine. The opportunities are infinite. 



//Coat: F21 // Top: ASOS // Leggings: ASOS // Boots: Thrifted// Chain Harness: MOMMASNAKE // Cuff & Rings: ASOS // Earrings: Gemsian// 



Have fun, be fearless, be yourself.


-W