Sacred Circle

"I'm not afraid to look bizarre. And when I look bizarre, I feel beautiful." - Sharon Needles

Last week, I was talking about dressing for yourself and wearing what you love. When Sharon Needles said the above on RuPaul's Drag Race, I was hearing bells. It is basically exactly and entirely how I feel about my own personal style.

Here are some of my favorite links right now about accepting, and loving, everything about yourself.

+     Gala Darling's 100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now

+     Join the Body Peace Revolution! Stop Hating Your Body!

+     Fat Acceptance Frenchie!

+     All bodies are normal and beautiful, not just the idealized and airbrushed ones we see in the media. Here are some galleries of "normal" body parts; Bellies part 1 & 2, Breasts, and I'll Show You Mine, a book of labias!

+     Learn to love your body through burlesque like these breast cancer survivors.

+     The Marilyn Meme - no body type is intrinsically better than another and you're beautiful, but that's not the best thing about you.

+     Rejecting beauty standards and ideals - How to Move Beyond Beauty

+     Freestyle Fashion: His Black Dress

+     John Waters talks to Rookie Mag about how obsessions and quirks can be powerful and teenage fashion as a form of expression and rebellion. "Like boys wearing their pants so they’re almost falling off - who thought that up? It’s hilarious! They’re really walking and it doesn’t fall down!"

+     Also from Rookie, Surviving a Small Town when you don't fit in. I wish I had read something like this growing up in my small hometown in Alaska.

+     And a bad body image day playlist to banish those inevitable days when you're feeling down on yourself.

Be seeing you.

-W

KA'OIR

I am so in love with these lipsticks from KA'OIR right now. They are incredibly highly pigmented and apply very smoothly. All of the shades I have feel really nice on and have a very lovely sheen. They seem to be pretty long lasting too.

After years of only wearing lip stains and glosses, I'm having a lot of fun experimenting with the drama of lipsticks. I am really into the color payoff and opacity you can only get with a lipstick. I am also super excited about all of the color options that are out there right now. I definitely think KA'OIR has some of the prettiest hues available.

Here are three of my favorite KA'OIR shades!

Platinum

This is an amazingly perfect dark silver metallic. Beyond cool. Very opaque. I feel like an atomic age space alien in this color.

Rude Girl

This a beautiful and bright deep purple. Very creamy. It looks a bit pinker on my lips, even with a blanking lip primer, than the swatch they have on their website. Still completely fantastic though.

Diamonds

This one is my absolute favorite. It is a stick of pure glitter. It feels amazing, like a very moisturizing lip balm with barely a hint of the graininess of the glitter. The glitter is totally buildable too. You can wear just a sheer layer of it or assemble an impenetrable wall of glitter. The glitter actually, astoundingly, stays on your lips instead of wandering all over your face. Unless you touch it, then you will be leaving magic glitter fingerprints on everything. Which is kind of cool, I guess. 

A girl's best friend

Be seeing you.

-W

               

Stop Street Harassment

March 18-24 is International Anti-Street Harassment Week!

Catcaller Form from The Riot

Many, if not all, women and LGBTQ folk have experienced some form of street harassment, some nearly every day. Whether in the guise of annoying sexist remarks ("Smile, Baby"), catcalls, whistles, yelling, stalking, flashing, public masturbation or downright groping and physical abuse. 


Every day, walking to work alone, I know to expect unwanted attention. I have been yelled at, whistled at, heard kissing noises, called a bitch, called a whore, had men touch my hair, arms, and ass, had strange men ask me to have sex with them, had men tell me to cheat on my husband with them, been followed, and have heard many many comments about my body. This has been my experience almost every day, whenever I go out alone or with other women, since puberty. It is never flattering. It is not charming. And it is not funny. 


It makes me feel unsafe. Some days I don't want to go out because I am not prepared to deal with it. I do not want to feel irritated, angry, uncomfortable, embarrassed, or frightened.  I feel like I do not have the right to exist in a public place alone unmolested, solely because I am female.


Riding the bus one day, a male passenger would not leave me alone. I ignored him, I moved to another seat and he followed me, continuing to harass me. Another man moved to sit next to us. He asked me if this man was bothering me and if I was okay. Knowing I had an ally, I instantly felt more at ease. Because he acknowledged I was being harassed, I felt like he was very clearly telling me, "This is not normal." "You do not deserve to be treated like this." Now, when I am being shouted at or being told something obscene or degrading, I remember my ally from the bus that stood up for me. This memory helps remind me that the vast majority of men are not like this. It's just unfortunate that the minority is so vocal. This thought gives me a little peace and a lot of courage and strength to stand up for myself. 




What to do?


+ Spread the word. Tell your stories. Explain to people that don't understand street harassment how it has made you feel and has affected your life. I feel like a lot of men don't understand the scope of street harassment because they rarely see it.  


+ "I'm not a dog, don't whistle at me." Confront harassers. Have a prepared response or pass out this hand-out.


+ Use your phone or camera to take photos of your harassers like photographer Hannah Price with her City of Brotherly Love project. Share your photos and tales with Hollaback! 


+ How to Be a Good Guy on the Sidewalk - Be normal. "Treat a woman and girl like they are your equal, like you would another man and boy as he walks down the streets."


+ Be an ally. Support those you see being harassed. Ask them if they are okay? Do they need help? Are they being bothered?


+ Listen when someone tells you they have been harassed. Do not tell them they need to suck it up or should be flattered. Do not minimize their experience. Do not tell them that this is just the way the world is and they need to accept it.


+ Do not harass. Anyone. Anytime. Anywhere. It is not a compliment and it is not a joke. It is never okay to treat someone else like less than a human being. Be thoughtful. Be respectful.


+ Visit Meet Us on the Street to find more ways to get involved. 





Stay strong friends!


-W

Dressing For Yourself

We are told so many things about how to dress and what to wear. Dressing for our body shape, our age, our gender, the occasion... but rarely, amongst all of these "helpful" hints and rules, are we ever actually encouraged to just wear what we truly want to. Especially for women, the guidelines, expectations, and judgements are endless. 


Women are told again and again that we should always try to be appealing in both dressing and actions, whether implicitly or explicitly stated. We are taught to always please others, especially with the way we look, to always consider what others would expect or like from us. We should not be upsetting, or challenging, or heaven forbid, unattractive. In high school, during a phase when I wore only the ugliest polyester clothes I could find at the local thrift store, a boy I barely knew told me I would be more attractive if I dressed differently, more "normal". I am surprised that my cripplingly self-conscious and insecure teenage incarnation was confident enough to reply that I wasn't dressing to attract anyone, especially not any boys like him.  





You should look nice. You need to be sexy but not too sexy, not a slut, not trashy. Don't look like you're trying to get attention. But of course, if you are showing any part of your body, then you should just expect a lot of attention, mostly negative. Show your body, don't show it, hide your flaws, look flawless, stay approachable, seem friendly, look confident, not too confident, be modest, don't seem like a bitch, stand out, blend in, fit in, don't look boring, don't look strange.  And, whatever you do, by any means, don't look like you're trying too hard. But really, all of the rules are completely and absolutely arbitrary. Fashion is constantly changing. Patterns and colors come and go. Silhouettes and popular fits shift drastically from season to season. Any sartorial rule is an opinion not a fact, maybe a widely held belief but never true for everyone. Taste is entirely subjective.





This is what I think - wear what you love. Look the way you like. Wear what makes you happy. Wear what makes you feel beautiful. Wear what makes you feel powerful. Wear what you think is sexy. Wear what you think is interesting or exciting. Wear what feels right, what feels good. 




With your clothes, the way you wear your hair, your accessories, your makeup, you have so much control over your appearance. Even small details can have a huge visual effect. You can look any way you imagine. The opportunities are infinite. 



//Coat: F21 // Top: ASOS // Leggings: ASOS // Boots: Thrifted// Chain Harness: MOMMASNAKE // Cuff & Rings: ASOS // Earrings: Gemsian// 



Have fun, be fearless, be yourself.


-W

ETCETERA

Villainous

As I've mentioned before, I love scary movies. And I surely do love me a kooky villain. Here are my top 13 favorite villains of horror cinema. 

Yes, that's right. I said it. 

CINEMA. 

13. Willard Styles (Willard)

Willard! There are rats in the basement!

This one is actually pretty simple.

A. Crispin Glover

B. RATS! RATS! CUTE CUTE RATS! 

12. Carrie White (Carrie)

It was bad, Mama. They laughed at me. 

Truly, the real villain of this movie is Carrie's mother, what with her dirty pillows and locking Carrie in the sin closet and all, but how incredible is blood-drenched Carrie setting everything on fire at the prom? Who hasn't wanted to do that? Or maybe I'm alone here? Anybody?

11. Isaac (Children of the Corn)

Isaac started the whole thing. He's a boy preacher who came to this town three years ago.

Seriously, just look at this creep.

I want that hat too. Isaac had some totally sweet dark Amish style going on. You go, girl.

10. 9. Mommy & Daddy (The People Under the Stairs)

May they burn in hell.

Forever and ever in hell. 

Xenophobic, racist, incestuous, homicidal, religious zealot slum-lord sister and brother hoard mutilated male children in basement while keeping "daughter" shielded from sin by keeping her locked away at home. Also, gold coins and a leather full-body BDSM suit. Sure, why not? This is just like a V. C. Andrews story!

By the way, Hi Big Ed and Ol' Nadine One Eye!

8. Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)

Do you like Huey Lewis and The News? 

Christian Bale plays himself as my favorite paranoid schizophrenic sociopathic yuppie. The best part is when he tries to feed that cat to the ATM. Right, you guys?! Also, how about Christian Bale's abs? As it happens, I do like Huey Lewis and The News. Excuse me, I have to return some videotapes. 

7. May Dove Canady (May)

You don't think I'm weird?

Okay, so May is really just a lonely girl with a lazy eye and no social skills, not exactly an evil villain. All she wants in the world is a real friend. But she probably shouldn't have killed and dismembered all of those people anyway. I mean, probably not. In addition, this whole movie is delightfully uncomfortable. I was cringing the entire way through.

6. Jackson Rippner (Red Eye)

Wait a minute. You're not stalking me, are you? 

Technically, this movie is a thriller and also not really that good of a movie but whatever. Cillian Murphy's Jackson Rippner, Jackson Rippner right?!, is almost as intense as the movie's soundtrack. Plus, he looks pretty cute in a scarf. Oh, also plus, he has a lot of adorable freckles.

5. Miss Eva Ernst (The Witches) 

You may remove your wigs! 

Okay, so what, this is a movie for kids but there is still some scary stuff here! The scene where the witches take off their masks and they have the noses and the claws?! Yeesh. And thinking the little boy is going to be a mouse forever. Tough stuff dudes. This was all very heavy when I was little. Anyway, how perfect is Anjelica The Grand High Witch's bob haircut? And her accent? Fabulous dahlinks. 

4. Pinhead (Hellraiser)

We have such sights to show you.

Is it weird that I kind of think Pinhead is sort of a nice guy? He's just trying to do his job here everybody. Oh hey, you solved that puzzle box. Check out this neat stuff guys. Pain and Pleasure. We will tear your soul apart. You know. Junk like that. 

3. Ginger Fitzgerald (Ginger Snaps)

A girl can only be a slut, a bitch, a tease, or the virgin next door. 

Ginger Fitzgerald is becoming a woman. She gets her period, starts doing drugs, having sex, and eating people. The usual story. All jokes aside, it's actually a pretty good depiction of what it feels like being a teenage girl sometimes. 

2. Paul (Funny Games)

Whether by knife or whether by gun, losing your life can sometimes be fun.

Michael Pitt as Paul or Jerry or Butthead manages to be completely likeable and absolutely terrifying all at the same time. He is disgusting and charming and he really creeps me out. The original Austrian Funny Games, from the same director, is just as good, maybe better, but alas, no Michael Pitt. Seriously, look at those eyes.

1. Nancy Downs (The Craft)

We are the weirdos, mister. 

I have seen this movie roughly 5,000 times. Nancy is the absolute worst! She is mean, nasty, power-crazed, vengeful, jealous, murderous and also quite stylish. The only bad thing about The Craft is that it isn't about Nancy. Nancy Downs is my power animal. I love you, Nancy. Never change.

-W

Show & Tell: Bertram

No big deal or anything but -  

I have my very own Muppet!

His name is Bertram and he was a Christmas present from my husband. He came from the FAO Schwartz Muppet Whatnot Workshop and I got to design him myself. Of course I chose all of the monster options. Sweet fangs, right?

He even has a leather jacket!

Did I ever tell ya that this here jacket represents a symbol of my individuality and my belief in personal freedom?

Definitely the best Christmas present I have gotten since my friend James gave me a Chad from 2GE+HER doll in high-school. I wonder where that doll ended up... still have the key-chain that came with him though. I keep all my keys on it.

Thanks James!

Bertram is a real sourpuss with a mean dramatic streak.




He loves kung fu movies and his favorite band is Maroon 5. Go figure.

His voice sounds a lot like Craig T. Nelson's.

No big deal.

-W