March 18-24 is International Anti-Street Harassment Week!
Many, if not all, women and LGBTQ folk have experienced some form of street harassment, some nearly every day. Whether in the guise of annoying sexist remarks ("Smile, Baby"), catcalls, whistles, yelling, stalking, flashing, public masturbation or downright groping and physical abuse.
Every day, walking to work alone, I know to expect unwanted attention. I have been yelled at, whistled at, heard kissing noises, called a bitch, called a whore, had men touch my hair, arms, and ass, had strange men ask me to have sex with them, had men tell me to cheat on my husband with them, been followed, and have heard many many comments about my body. This has been my experience almost every day, whenever I go out alone or with other women, since puberty. It is never flattering. It is not charming. And it is not funny.
It makes me feel unsafe. Some days I don't want to go out because I am not prepared to deal with it. I do not want to feel irritated, angry, uncomfortable, embarrassed, or frightened. I feel like I do not have the right to exist in a public place alone unmolested, solely because I am female.
Riding the bus one day, a male passenger would not leave me alone. I ignored him, I moved to another seat and he followed me, continuing to harass me. Another man moved to sit next to us. He asked me if this man was bothering me and if I was okay. Knowing I had an ally, I instantly felt more at ease. Because he acknowledged I was being harassed, I felt like he was very clearly telling me, "This is not normal." "You do not deserve to be treated like this." Now, when I am being shouted at or being told something obscene or degrading, I remember my ally from the bus that stood up for me. This memory helps remind me that the vast majority of men are not like this. It's just unfortunate that the minority is so vocal. This thought gives me a little peace and a lot of courage and strength to stand up for myself.
What to do?
+ Spread the word. Tell your stories. Explain to people that don't understand street harassment how it has made you feel and has affected your life. I feel like a lot of men don't understand the scope of street harassment because they rarely see it.
+ "I'm not a dog, don't whistle at me." Confront harassers. Have a prepared response or pass out this hand-out.
+ Use your phone or camera to take photos of your harassers like photographer Hannah Price with her City of Brotherly Love project. Share your photos and tales with Hollaback!
+ How to Be a Good Guy on the Sidewalk - Be normal. "Treat a woman and girl like they are your equal, like you would another man and boy as he walks down the streets."
+ Be an ally. Support those you see being harassed. Ask them if they are okay? Do they need help? Are they being bothered?
+ Listen when someone tells you they have been harassed. Do not tell them they need to suck it up or should be flattered. Do not minimize their experience. Do not tell them that this is just the way the world is and they need to accept it.
+ Do not harass. Anyone. Anytime. Anywhere. It is not a compliment and it is not a joke. It is never okay to treat someone else like less than a human being. Be thoughtful. Be respectful.
+ Visit Meet Us on the Street to find more ways to get involved.
Stay strong friends!
-W
Posts
Great advice :)
ReplyDeleteNailed it!
ReplyDelete